i'm becoming a faint light
and go among the stars
you also become a star
and you wave at me 

-one last dance, t.o.p, 2016

at some point
i started looking at the ground more than the sky 

when i stop wandering at the end of this road
i hope i can close my eyes without regrets

-loser, taeyang, 2015

if you only chase after money, power and fame
your crotch is gonna rip and you're gonna fall

time is so damn slow
i'm just growing old
i live like i'm dead
i have so many damn things to do but i have nothing that i want to do 

the world is cold to me
people's eyes are prickling on me
i seem like an adult but i'm really a child that's really tall

-sober, seungri, daesung, t.o.p, 2015

my footsteps are faster than others
my youth is a different dimension

-fantastic baby, gd, 2012

the world tells me that i can't but
the crying me of the past is now smiling 

there's nothing more to lose now
i'm gonna push the past behind 

-alive, daesung, taeyang, 2012

the people of the world have turned their backs against me
the corners of their eyes are all twisted up
the greatest pain to me
is the fact that you became the same as them

-monster, t.o.p, 2012

the warm rays of the sun are of another world
the field of reeds are dancing all alone
i remain paused at a green hill
holding a conversation i've yet to finish with her
the sky is of an expressionless face that holds no answers
you're probably hiding behind the clouds
you're probably a star

-love song, t.o.p, 2011

my heart is still a gallery full of you

-cafe, t.o.p, 2011

if the world makes you sad
say my name whenever and wherever
i am 119 emergency, for you only 

hold my hand and let's go
let's look for a lost dream again

we can't see an end but the future is bright
there are many chances because you are young

-oh my friend, daesung, gd, 2008

Labels: best of bigbang, bigbang, favourite, lyrics

so many things have been looking so futile recently. i hope i'll find a purpose one day. there is a good reason for me to live well: my family and good friends. but i'm trying to find a reason to live well for myself. i want something that's personal. i'm happy with what i have. i am somewhat appreciative, though not as appreciative as i think i should be. i've gotten almost everything i've ever wanted. i have the chance to study something that was (and still is) my first choice. so.. why am i still so unhappy sometimes?

now i'm a lot happier than i was before my recent exam, but there's still an emptiness.. that i thought wouldn't stay. and i wonder how i'll ever fill it. i feel it even during my happiest moments. an acute awareness of something that's missing. is it the optimism that i lost this year? or is it something bigger, more valuable than that? who knows.

but i do know very well that i've lost a lot of my naivety. now i agree with the morbid things that my friends say when i didn't in the past. something has changed. heh. anxiety sucks. a permanent existential crisis sucks too.

as always, i want to end this topic with a happy conclusion.. so,

i'll consciously try to think about happy stuffs! and not mope too much!