I feel exceptionally upset right now over. I don't know what. And I just want this feeling to pass. I haven't cried this much in a while. 

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It hasn't been hell, though. I just. I don't know. I am strangely calm now while writing this. I've been at odds with myself over some of my general negativity towards /everyone/. I know a lot of my annoyance isn't warranted so it disturbs me. I. It's like watching yourself become even more evil? Hopefully after this hectic period, this terrible phase will end. I can already feel it slowly waning, so. 

People are so odd. It's nothing new, of course. But it still surprises me very often. We're capable of so much kindness and callousness. 

So what are you going to choose? To give in to your inner devil and be mean? Sighs. 

Yknow, I'd nearly forgotten how important it is that you surround yourself with good influences. I'm not saying that any of my good friend is toxic. NOPE, they aren't. None of them is evil or mean, at least from what I've observed. Some bad qualities sort of rub off onto you over time though, like heartlessness. Mehhhhhhhhhh. 

AND. I have a lot of scattered thoughts in this post on different issues (some stuffs I think about when I'm in a daze). 

Like how important it is to be a good parent to your child. My recent volunteer work with kids has reminded me of the fact that whatever you teach them has a lasting impact on them. 

Seeing irresponsible and incompetent parents make me so, so angry. I shall adopt a looser definition of "incompetent" here, since if I were to abide by my definition of competency in parents, I think most parents would be considered failures. 

There are different levels of terrible parenting. But the worst parents are those who don't raise their kids well simply because they don't care about their kids. 

Then, there's another type of parents. This one.... well most parents are like these parents. They make a lot of mistakes when bringing up their children, eg inculcating the wrong values in their children. But they still love their kids and do put in a decent amount of care and effort into raising their little ones. 

Let me just bring up one flagrant instance that I see repetitively. I hate it when parents blame their children excessively over some "bad" decisions they made. It's terrible. What are you trying to teach your child? That he's stupid? That he should wallow in regret? I know, it's difficult to not blame the kid at all. But do so moderately. Shouldn't you be providing constructive advice instead? Because I would want my kid to salvage the situation instead of crying over spilt milk. 

Really. I could enumerate many, many examples but I'm lazy now. Also, there's no need to do that because we all know examples of poor parenting. 

I always say this. But I'm going to say this again. This doesn't mean that I'm someone who's wise and competent enough to be a good parent. You don't have to be good at something to point out glaring errors though. 

I just hope people will properly consider if they want + ready to raise a child well before conceiving one. It's not something to be taken lightly. There are many trials in life that your child would have to (suffer) through. And childhood plays a big part in moulding some lifelong characteristics. So please don't be selfish, if you have the autonomy to make an informed decision regarding this. 

Adults aren't necessarily more mature than children too. Oh well. Having many terrible parents around is inadvertent. 

Children have so much more than grown-ups have. I wish we could preserve most of their GOOD qualities like their creativity. Interacting with many kids recently makes me realise how easy it is for an adult to squelch a child's imagination. What an immeasurable crime.

I'm still trying to not make that mistake often. So. Let's open our minds and stop (irrationally) instinctively deriding anything that /only seems/ ridiculous. 

Dear self, please, if you ever be a parent, do your best to be a good one to your child.